Category Archives: Uncategorized

My father bit off his own tongue in a childhood accident. There were stories too about refusing to remove his wedding ring in the hospital, despite swelling in his hand. Preferring to invite possible loss of his finger, than to undo something he had done and promised. He worked through a heart attack on myContinue reading “Drawing in the Dirt”

There’s a point in grief, where you just want the days to pass. You do anything to pass the time, even seconds, in order to distract you from what you cannot escape. The only thing that takes the edge off is time, so you want to consume time in chunks, to get distance from theContinue reading “A prayer of grieving”

(picture of broken bed) My antique childhood bed.Previously taken by a spinster relativeTo teacher’s college.Wooden and spindly, I broke its rungsAccidentallyWhile throwing a footballInto a pillowWhile pretending to be a quarterback.I’d later break the window above it, too.Same window I’d open to smoke or burn smudge. It overlooked a freeway and factories, railroads, other yards,Continue reading “Tally of Broken Beds”

Sometimes I feel weighted down by so many memories of things and people known only between us. Many are now a secret that only I carry, special only in my own knowing. If I had amnesia, it would be so easy to be in the moment. But would the moment have any meaning without allContinue reading “Coasting (thoughts for Ralph)”

We’re still animals. Our brains enjoy flashing lights and novelty. We have a propensity to look for startling things. It’s part of our instinct, a protective reflex. We don’t even realize when we do it….oh look there. Something else. Life is movement. We notice where life is. These electronic connections via media and devices giveContinue reading “Meditation”

Imagine making liquid metalForging into form,Folded and hammered hot,Plunging molten into waterHardening off,Fanning flames and beginning again. Who thought of burning stoneUntil it changed form?How different from sand intoFragile glass, yetWho believed enoughTo look at sandAnd render it transparent?Or did we learn from lightningAnd forests on fire? Raw from the origins in the earth,Crafted intoContinue reading “Folding Steel”

This part isn’t fun. It’s just something to gut out. To see if it will get you through to fun again. Like a carrot on a stick,Or dessert after a meal.Or a heavy stone you carry with you. Always eat dessert.Taste life with every breath.Especially the quiet timesWhere you are most distilled to you.Fill yourContinue reading “Untitled”

Sometimes the wisest thing to do is laughThe bumps you encounterThe times you tripHard lessons sometimes come inSmall surprise packages.Relax into itTuck and roll. Coyotes and crows,Buddha on the pathMudmen and heyokaKrampus, Pan, fauns, satyrs,All the horneds and frolickers,The shapeshifters,Troublemakers and magiciansNetsuke and twists in tree rootsSacred bundles and smokeRavens’ cachesFetishes and kachinasMeridians and doorwaysBorderlands,Continue reading “Tricksters and sacred clowns”

Today or tomorrowAlone or by many,Conscious or not,Edgy or dullIt’s comingWhere “I” meet something biggerAnd eventually transformSaying goodbye to everythingI knew and amTo hopefully know it allFor at least a glimpse. It’s been staring at you for a while(Your whole life unnoticed)And now it smilesRecognizing youAs you enter formlessBack from where you cameBut don’t reallyContinue reading “How to handle the welcoming of a new world”

To feel bigger, caste a long shadowOr look the other ways.Collect yourself with othersOr fill the space like lightInto any edges you reach.The perfect wordsDisappearedAs I opened my eyesRefusing to return.I doubted I had everBeen before:Considered excessOr not enough,Needing stillnessTo feel whole.Will any of us catch upTo the potential we feel?Isn’t that the point?I imagineContinue reading “Miles deep, the chasm”